Don't sell shorts short

Posted by William Neikirk at 7 a.m. CDT

At the White House, the press eagerly awaits The Entrance. Television cameras whir. Presidential assistants squirm. Finally the announcement comes: "Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States." The president struts in, dressed in a beige suit jacket and matching shorts, with an orange shirt and a beige tie. Sandals cover his feet.

The press isn't laughing, because all the male reporters are dressed in jackets and shorts, too. Does this sound ridiculous? Well, not as much as it might sound. According to the Wall Street Journal, designers are trying to get men to wear fancy, expensive shorts with fancy, expensive jackets and wear them in dressier settings. This new fashion initiative is scheduled for spring of 2007.

One can only hope that fashion would change in the nation's capital, a town of dark suits and power ties. They've been dressing that way here as long as I can remember. They think the trappings of power demand it. There is a feeling here that a male politician could lose 20 to 30 percentage points on his popularity rating if he decided to be a little daring with his wardrobe. But Washington is extremely hot during the summer. People might think it smart if our leaders would show a little sense and dress according to the climate. So why not give it a try?

I have tried to conjure up how some of our leaders would look in a dressy sport jacket and shorts. House Speaker Denny Hastert, a man of some girth, for instance, didn't wear those dark suits when he was a wrestler. Justice Antonin Scalia of the Supreme Court, Vice President Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld all could soften their images by showing some leg. The same is true of Karl Rove. Sen. Barack Obama is young and hep, and might be more amenable, but as a potential presidential candidate, he would never go first. Too risky.

There was a day that Teddy Kennedy might risk such an outfit. But not now. Nope, on second thought, that jacket-and-shorts look would never become fashionable down here in swampland, though it should. This is a button-down place, and always will be. The wig has a better chance of catching on.