Academy Awards: For best candidate, the Oscar...

by Mark Silva

As Hollywood prepares to honor its finest actors and actresses and celebrate its finest films, we thought it might be time to award some campaign Oscars as well.

But, because there is so much competition for the gold this year, we start with a required cast of finalists for your consideration. Cast your votes, or additional nominations, in the comments below.

And finalists for BEST ACTOR are….

Bill Clinton, for acting like he’s really campaigning for someone else.

Mike Huckabee, for acting like he doesn’t believe in evolution.

John McCain, for acting like he likes President Bush.

Barack Obama, for acting “audacious’’ about running with a “funny name.’’

Mitt Romney, for acting like he didn’t mind losing $50 million of his own money.

For BEST ACTRESS:

Hillary Clinton, for acting like she was crying.

Cindy McCain, for acting like she wasn’t worried about The New York Times.

Michelle Obama, for acting like her husband is the candidate.

Nancy Pelosi, for acting like she was listening at the State of the Union.

Oprah Winfrey, for acting.

For BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

John Edwards, for playing Mr. Nice one year, and Mr. Angry another.

Al Gore, for playing like he didn’t want to run this year.

Rudy Giuliani, for acting like a candidate.

Ron Paul, for acting like a candidate.

Fred Thompson, for acting.

Foir BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

Chelsea Clinton, for "working'' the superdelegates.

Elizabeth Edwards, really, for fighting the good fight.

John McCain's mother, for being the 93-year-old mom of a 71-year-old nominee.

Fred Thompson's wife, for being 40.

Shirley MacLaine, for explaining Dennis Kucinich's UFOs.


Some categories are simply uncontestable, or nearly so:

For BEST FILM:

An Inconvenient Truth, for winning Gore the Nobel Prize.

For BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:

An Inconvenient Truth, for making a believer of Bush.

For BEST SCREENPLAY:

Barack Obama’s speeches, for best platitudes.

Hillary Clinton’s speeches, for best platitude put-downs.

John McCain, for best flashbacks.

Mike Huckabee, for best speeches, period.

Stevie Wonder, for singing Barack Obama's name at a rally in L.A.

For BEST DIRECTOR:

Bill Clinton, for running Hillary Clinton's campaign.

David Axelrod, for running Barack Obama campaign.

Karl Rove, for running President Bush's campaigns.

Dick Cheney, for running President Bush.