By Jim Tankersley and James Oliphant
The newly installed President Obama doesn't plan any sweeping moves today, other than signing some cabinet-related paperwork and maybe a foxtrot or two at one of his many celebratory balls. But advisors say he could issue a raft of executive orders as soon as tomorrow.
Here are a few strokes of the pen we'd like to see:
• Create a college football playoff system. Start this Saturday with Utah vs. USC and Florida vs. Texas.
• Pardon Jose Canseco.
• Mobilize National Guard to reunite The Fugees.
• Strike from the Library of Congress, the Internet and all Blockbuster video stores any traces of the second "Star Wars" trilogy.
• End controversial bailout of the Detroit Lions.
• Reinstate Eisenhower-era ban on the designated hitter.
Comments
How about:
The Cubs automatically get a 2009 World Series birth....where they would promptly find a way to blow it and keep the "tradition" alive.
Posted by: TC Dantzler | January 20, 2009 5:17 PM
-establish the cabinet level position "court jester"
-reconstitute the nominating committee of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
-audit all Fox News interviewers/interviewees
-Hawaiian shirt Fridays in the White House
-Federal bailout of the Trib
-shoes can be left on at airports (not joking)
-poker night, Fed Reserve vs. Treasury
-Don't ask don't tell at the SEC
-tax amnesty every April 16
Posted by: Kenny Bunkport ✌ | January 20, 2009 5:19 PM
I'll second the proposal about eliminating the designated hitter!
Posted by: Brian M. | January 20, 2009 9:07 PM
More;
1. Ban all morning talk radio shows that are re-broadcast on TV!! This is not 'senergy'. It's a deadly morphine drip.
2. Outlaw electric powered TP rolls, and hand towel dispensers in public crappers.
Posted by: C.Morris✈ | January 20, 2009 9:54 PM
This is his zenith of public approbation & acclaim, unless he can top FDR's performance in 1936, which would be hard.
So, why not get rid of don't ask, don't tell. With a penstroke. Strike while the iron is hottest?
That would send a message louder than any speech.
Posted by: ornery | January 20, 2009 11:02 PM
Replace the solar panels on the White House.
Appoint Ann Coulter as gardener, janitor, groundskeeper, housekeeper, sous chef, dishwasher, driver, concierge, hair stylist, masseuse and nail technician for the Obama's new dog.
Yes, get rid of the DH but give teams the option to have the bat girl replace Randy Johnson's at bat, if desired.
"Whack a Lobbyist" Tuesday, free beer.
Posted by: Bubba ✔ | January 20, 2009 11:55 PM
- Reunite Ric Ocasek, Elliot Easton, Greg Hawks, David Robinson (The Cars), R.I.P. Ben Orr.
- Reunite Dave Gilmore, Roger Waters , Nick Mason (Pink Floyd), R.I.P. Richard Wright.
- Eliminate MLB Interleague Play. One Division will invariably have a roll of the dice advantage due to their IL opponents for that season. Cubs vs Mariners, W. Sox vs Nationals, how is Western Civilization advanced by these non-WS match ups. Forget Global Warming. There is far more value to be had in correcting these unfortunate Good Things Gone Awry operations.
Posted by: Django - N Exile In/Around the 30th Parallel | January 21, 2009 12:09 AM
TC:
Now do you really think a WS fan would issue that order??
Posted by: Bob "Hussein" inAtlanta | January 21, 2009 10:50 AM
Bubba ✔
You hit on one of my favorite nerves! The awful reorganization of baseball into a NFL format!
The horror, the horror.
Our beautiful national pass time is ruined.
Posted by: C.Morris✈ | January 21, 2009 3:14 PM