Holder's handle: Stiff upper-lip contest

by Mark Silva

Attorney General Eric Holder.

David Axelrod, presidential adviser.

And, this year, for the first time, a woman:

Finalists for the American Mustache Institute's "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" award, bestowed each year in recognition of the individual who has best contributed to "the Mustached American way of life over the past year.''

The annual 'Stache Bash this year in St. Louis features singer John Oates.

The organization is permitting open voting on a field of furry-lipped finalists that includes Holder, Axelrod, US Airways pilot-hero "Sully Sullenberger,'' the handlebar mustached mayor of Murray City, Utah and several others.

This is no lightweight award, though the criteria may be a little fuzzy.

Members of the institute are pledging to lobby the administration of President Barack Obama to grow a mustache "to demonstrate solidarity with people of Mustached American descent'' - though protesters of the president's plans lately have taken to drawing their own mustaches on likenesses of the president in the fashion of a certain famous fascist.

Members also are obliged to applaud any "Mustached American'' whom they see on the street, castigate clean-shaven mortals for their "bare-lipped appearance,'' a sign, they say, of "weakness and communism'' (communism? Don't tell Glenn Beck).

They also are not allowed to own cats or watch Sex and the City.

(Top to bottom: Robert Goulet, for whom the award is named, Atty. Gen'l Eric Holder, White House adviser David Axelrod, US Airways Capt. "Sully" Sullenberger. AP)

The Swamp, however, is hereby encouraging a write-in voting campaign for the woman in the running, Whitney Matheson.

She writes the Pop Candy blog for USA Today's Web-site.

She also pledges to write about mustaches at least once weekly, the institute says.

The organization reports that: "Though her award-winning mustache loving online platform, since 1999 Whitney has promoted the health, good looks and power of the Mustached American lifestyle through a pop culture lens.''