Biden: Obama's 'base' the press (joking): The Swamp

The spring season of political humor is underway -- Joe Biden opened it.

Posted March 18, 2010 10:10 AM

by Mark Silva

If Vice President Joe Biden was entertaining the media last night, it was for a good cause, he suggested -- that's President Barack Obama's "base.''

Obama was back at the White House hosting a St. Patrick's Day reception, Biden noted at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner.

"He's with my base,'' Biden said. "I'm with his.''

Biden had this to say about an erstwhile rival and the disputed length of the 2,000-plus page healthcare legislation nearing passage, which Republicans repeatedly point out as one of the bill's big problems: "Put yourself in their spot. Just ask Sarah -- that's a hell of a lot to write on the palm of your hand.''

He had a few lines about his frustrated attempts at seeking peace in the Middle East: "It's a hell of a nice break from healthcare.''

And this about the Recovery Act: "Republicans say it hasn't created one job. Well, tell that to Scott Brown.''

He had a few words for his own notorious foot-in-mouth affliction: "Dick Morris is quick to point out everytime I put my foot in my mouth. Well Dick, at least it's my foot.''

And for the alleged birthday-suit encounter in the congressional shower between former Rep. Eric Massa of New York and a finger-wagging White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel (he denies it): "Look, Rahm was only pointing his finger.''

His own job, the vice president said, isn't so bad. He spent his life voting for public housing but never realized it "would be this good.. The job does have some perks,'' he said, "like when Tiger Woods came to see me and gave me some tips -- Hey guys, they were golf tips.''

(Warning: This isn't the last of the annual spring ritual in Washington of poking fun at oneself and everyone else that goes all the way to the top -- the Gridiron Club holds its white-tie dinner this weekend and the White House Correspondents Association black-tied soiree is not far behind. Jay Leno will be starring at the finale.)

Comments

A few good one liners there.

Posted by: Crooks_In_DC | March 18, 2010 10:28 AM

Biden had a few decent lines.

But he insulted the audience, the event, and their invitation by telling them they were second-tier and second rate and implying that's why they got him as a speaker and not the President.

Nothing like insulting the organization whut brung ya.

Posted by: ornery | March 18, 2010 10:35 AM

Biden called the press Obama's "base".
For once, Joe Biden stumbled into the truth.

Posted by: Bruce | March 18, 2010 10:53 AM

For topical humor to be truly funny, it needs to have an element of truth. Like the Scott Brown line. And for sure about most of the media.

Posted by: Delano | March 18, 2010 10:58 AM

Let's lighten up a little, fellows. Vice-President Biden has done a yeoman's job in the Office of Vice-President, in cleaning up that stinking mess, the Bush&Cheney left behind !! I know some of you, Republican-Libertarian-T.Baggers, are tired of hearing about it, but, just think, you don't have to live with their inept decision-making, as some Americans do. These American citizens that are paying a much higher price because of the Dynamic Duo, draft-dodgers' incompetence and malfeasance. Some families are still mourning their losses from the Boondoggle in Baghdad, or trying to recover from the Thievery on Wall Street and in our Corporate Boardrooms. Then, of course, there are the Millions of jobs, Bush&Cheney have misplaced, lost or assisted in moving to cheap labor markets, leaving Millions of Unemployed workers with no paychecks. Meanwhile, the Republican-Libertarian-T.Baggers are trying every ploy to obstruct the Majority Party from performing its constitutional duties, from confirming judges to providing job-creating stimulus programs. Above all let us not forget, that cold, calculated, political maneuver of holding up Unemployment Benefits, by a single, misguided Senator. He thought it was appropriate to hold up much-need assistance for the unemployed, in the name of a long-lost, but now found agenda, that the Republican-Libertarian-T.Baggers put on ice, while the Bush&Cheney put us into a free-falling economy and a 15 Trillion Dollar Debt !! Revise all you want, those are verifiable facts !!
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, BRING THEM HOME, ALIVE AND WHOLE. NOW.

Posted by: Don Fitzgerald, IL | March 18, 2010 11:13 AM

WOW Joey actually got caught telling the truth for once in his career. It must have been a mistake.

Posted by: senator dirksen | March 18, 2010 1:00 PM

I heard a really funny one recently. It goes like this:
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When Barack Obama met with the Queen of England, he asked her: "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
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"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to be surrounded with intelligent people."
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Obama frowned: "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
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The Queen sipped her tea, and said, "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
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The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you? Tony Blair walked in. "Yes, my Queen?"
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The Queen smiled. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
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Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."
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"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
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Back in Washington, Obama asked Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
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"I'm not sure," Biden replied. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, in the men’s room, he recognized Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Biden asked Powell, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
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Powell yells back, "That's easy. It would be me!"
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Biden smiled and said, "Thanks!" He then went back to speak with Obama.
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"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
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"It's Colin Powell."
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Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair! No wonder I'm having so much trouble running things around here."
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(Heh. Let's just see if it gets posted.)